曾經

曾經有段時間很喜歡用英文寫作，其中一個主要因素是我打中文字很慢又費勁，思緒總會在查速成碼時被打斷…很沒趣；直到後可以用Apple Pen （註：比較起用手寫板來得流暢），便多了在 iPad 上寫作，也就擺脫了這個＂魔咒＂，多暢快！

曾經每個星期六，刻意坐到電腦面前寫網誌，因為覺得是鍛練、是責任（持續提供讀者＂新鮮＂文章）、是維持＂有人睇＂的不二之法；直到覺得為寫而寫，由初時的享受變成後來的負擔，所以便停下腳步，不再介意溜覽數字。現在，是想寫才寫，享受之餘，負擔消失得無影無蹤，多輕鬆！

曾經花很多時間在不同的網上平台學習運作，追趕當下流行的玩意，創作銷售也好、聯誼也好、數據分析也好；直到後來發覺這個無窮盡的虛擬世界，在運作上離不開一些特定的模式，而能否達到我想要的效果？視乎我是否容讓無盡時間的消耗，彷如黑洞在無限吞噬般，生命正一點一滴在流逝。終於，我把不必要的媒介刪除，凍結，就留下一些我仍享受在當中流漣的平台，正如這個 blog; 換來曾經失去了的時間來看一本書、為盆栽翻一翻泥、煮一壼咖啡…，多美好！

曾經…仍然會有很多個＂曾經＂，令我學懂了一些又或者失去了一些，它們都是我經歷的一部分，愚蠢了還是聰明了都不打緊，重要的是不時檢視一下自己的生活模式，調節一下，不抗拒改變也不介意停留，就這樣留下來想多一遍吧！

3+1 "好友?"

還記得大半年前, 無論是自己還是其他教會, 差不多同步地查考聖經內的一卷書"約伯記". 即使我沒有爬 YouTube 的習慣, 但手機內每週也會收到朋友傳發給我, 由不同牧者用約伯記講道的訊息. 甚至連 IG 也有朋友以此為題材分享, 何為困苦? 尤其是發生在約伯身上, 似乎沒法子解釋的苦難, 應該如何解讀及面對?

在短短差不多一年的時間內, 我參加了自己教會, 由牧師特別安排的連續幾個短期查經班, 約伯記是其中一課. 今次, 牧師帶我們探索的主角, 並非約伯, 而是他身邊那些"好朋友"; 在理解神的創造秩序之餘, 更再次提醒著我們在現實生活中, 應該如何陪伴正在面對困局/受苦的人.

陪伴、聆聽、同理心、不代替神説話、從困苦中尋找上主的恩言…一步一步的全是可行又合理不過. 至少, 學習不要用自己的"大道理"去第二次傷害受苦中的人~ 就是在不知不覺中, 用我們有限的智慧去強行解釋現况. 

曾幾何時當我們對着一個剛喪親的人説："不要多想, 慢慢會忘記悲痛…"

又或者對着一個長期患病的人説："不要停止治療, 總會有痊癒的一天…"

又或者對一個身處政局動盪的國家, 連下一秒也不知死活的人説："我為你禱告，願你平安..."

又或者對着一個因車禍而要截肢的人説："不用喪掉生命, 已經很幸運, 快來感恩…"

還有無數無數你我也聽過甚至經歷過的例子, 難道這一切都是錯嗎? 

都不是該給予的安慰說話嗎?

事實上很多安慰的説話也確是出於好意, 只是我們不得不承認, 世上有不少苦難, 並非三言兩語便可"打發", 甚至乎仍要待在漫長的黑夜中… 直至該完結的時間來到. 而在這段時間裏, 與其勉強回應, 還是靜靜聆聽來得更好.

盡管有時, 我們以為自己曾經有相同經歷, 於是便對受苦者提供千萬個可以"即時解困"的方法… 説真的, 不盡相同; 反而當我們可以謙卑地明白自己的無助和有限時, 神自有其工作; 此刻，可不靜靜的陪伴、聆聽和等待…也許這才是好朋友應該做的事, 互勉之！

A Promised Land

A Promised Land - Barack Obama 

Finally completed the reading of this 700 pages book last night, you can see how it was being "tortured" by me :P even though it's a hardcover version, the book jacket was fragile. I've using almost 6 months to complete because I could only had time to read before bed, which was about 1 to 2 hours at most, sometimes it was really tired but this book is worth to spend time with. 

As far as I could remember when I saw it in a MTR book store, it attracted me by it's thick spine at once; there was only two copies up there on the very top of the shelving,  I grabbed it right away and decided to bring back home after reading the blurb. 

In this six months, I ran through a "tough journey" leading by the author, an unusual one, the 44^thpresident of the United States, Mr. Barack Obama. A journey of how his “bet” make changes for his people; the barriers of partisan & pressure that had to be overcome; burden of duties deep inside, both his country & family…with strong & true beliefs of democracy, justice, hope, that could bring especially to the African Americans; a better future that could be built & the most important ~ love, that should have as a real human being…

It’s an extraordinary experience to know the routine & tremendous supporting team in White House, the wide scope of issues that he had to consider prior to make any decision that might affect the majority as well as the minority. But behind the scene, there were always had some lonely nights/ moments that Obama was struggled to give & take. 

There was a message I kept receiving throughout the book is , whenever he received a letter or a voice from a citizen/kid, a message of a missing pilot, a visit of an injured soldier or the 911 families…all these will once again reminding himself why to step into the government in his first place, reminding him of being a humble president, as well as a better person.

I have to say I did enjoy very much while reading this book, because it is not only a memoir of a president, or a record of what he did during his presidency. Obama didn’t hide the actual feeling of disappointment, anger or depress whenever he felt; compromise that had to be made most of the time for a bill to pass through, but at least, some achievement that benefit to the country could still be made.

What I do believe “Passion to become better” is the key and only when human don’t pretend themselves as God, “Yes we can!”

p.s.- I'm thinking, what a blessing for a country to have a president like Barack Obama. 

 

還記得在三月的ー個下午, 上完課回程途經美孚港鐵站内的書局, 毎次總會入内尋寳, 當天也不例外. 在書架最高處, 厚厚的書脊吸引着我, 原來是美國總統奥巴馬的 "A Promised Land". 我對政治算不得上有興趣, 但對自傳, 尤其是有視野和胸襟的人卻是例外. 幸好剛剛夠高 :D 於是一手取下先看封面及封底~ 相片拍得很美, 尤其是書背的ー張, 完全捕捉到作者的神緖和情懷,很喜歡. 再翻開書内看簡介, 看罷, 決定買下, 開始了這漫長而又期待的閲讀旅程.

我説是旅程, 真的, 在整整六個月的時日, 我總會在僅餘的睡前一至两小時, 翻開這本長達七百多頁的書本, 讓奥巴馬帶我遊走於他的政治旅途, 既艱辛卻又滿有意義和感恩. 事實上, 有時工作後實在疲倦, 但仍很想看一章, 或至少ー個段落, 因為很値得；在很多個晚上，藉着文章的內容，讓我覺得本來看似很絕望的世界，又再次浮現絲絲美善的盼望，得到不少安慰。

政治世界從來複雜多變，某程度上作者是憑着單純的初心，盼望可以激勵國民(人)去創建一個滿有公義、和平、平等的世界，一個更美好的將來，對非藉美國的公民/青少年的一代意義尤其重要。在龐大的白宮團隊支持之下，奧巴馬仍然必須經歷無數在民主社會下存在的國會投票，才能推動一些議案；即使要作出某些侷部的妥協，只要能對國民有利，他們還是會堅持行下去。在很多議案推行之前，作為總統的他，要考慮的事情及層面甚廣，從他敘述在白宮的日常可得知。其實除了背負著工作(國家)的重擔外，他在書中也不時提及對家人的一點點歉疚(也有對團隊，支持者及家人的無限感激)，並自己在得失之下的感受…我想，就是這個第44任美國總統非常人性的一面，沒有刻意隱藏自己的軟弱。

書中提及在不少個無奈的晚上，奧巴馬獨自靜下來的時刻，他還是會因著收過一封市民的感謝信，聽過一個工人的故事，看見過一個非藉小孩的微笑；又或是在探訪傷兵/911 遇難者家屬，為着執行任務失而復得的機師⋯等等，等等而再次回想自己要進入政府工作的初心，為此，明天又會重新出發。

事實上這本書有太多太多內容，並非單單是一本回憶錄或工作報告。當我在閲讀到書本後期的時候，正藉美軍全面撤離阿富汗，塔利班重掌政權之際；有時在政治圈外的平民如我，腦中也會浮現大大小小的＂為什麼？＂消息傳出的那個晚上，我在書中找到一些事情始末的㾗跡。同時，又令我反思，要批評政府的決定不難，但又有多少次是在我們能夠明白個中的利害取捨才去作出真正公道的批判，甚或指控呢？

要持守創造更美好的世界這份熱誠，讓自己能成為一個更好的人，卻沒有因為掌握大權而扮演上帝，談何容易？

美國公民曾經有奧巴馬這一位總統，我想，是福氣。

 

地下鐵

早陣子，弟弟一口氣把數本幾米繪本送給我，雖然已經是有點兒殘舊，但對於喜歡他作品的我，還是內容最重要，難掩興奮的心情。(謝謝細佬:D)

地下鐵是一本頗早期的作品，或許比較出名的會是已經改篇了電影的向左走，向右走；但相比兩個故事，後者是都市戀人的尋尋覓覓…而這一本是如詩般訴說着一個盲女的感受，仍然滲出幾米淡淡哀愁的風格，只是今次，更深更重。

我認識兩位失明的好朋友，多少明白他們生活中的不便及不安，但由於他們是一對夫婦，所以始終可以互相扶持。他們一位是天生失明，丈夫則是後期因病失明，所以在對世界各種事物的認知和感受，也會有所不同。

故事中的女主角是屬於後者，所以在她的世界裏仍然看到色彩，但始終當只得一個獨自生活的時候，那種在都市人海裏的孤獨感還是來得特別強烈。當我（讀者)陪着她出出入入，上上落落地下鐵的時候，有一種和她一起尋尋覓覓和等待的共鳴；我想，是因為圖畫很美，文字正是她在心中的絮絮細語，彷彿在和我説話般！

看了很多頁，仍被哀愁籠罩着，還好到了其中一頁，文字是這樣寫的： 還好，守護天使一直眷顧著我。 下面一幅對頁是女孩坐在白天鵝背上，靜靜地在萍果綠色的湖水上蘯漾。水彩＋粉彩般的効果如在霧中~全書最特別，也是我最喜歡的一幅圖畫。

另一幅深深吸引著我的，也是一個對頁，窗外黃昏彩霞映照入深沉的圖書閣，右邊窗台坐著女主角，文字是這樣寫的： 誰願意為我在黃昏的窗邊唸一首詩。坐在左邊窗台，是一直陪着她遊走的小狗。

或許我們會用失明者的心態去理解故事，但在看到後面，我同樣地發覺，即使是看得見這個世界的人，何嘗不曾在看似繁華耀眼的大都會中，某時某刻，同樣地感到孤單與無助？!

從來看幾米作品，也會被他營造的不真實感吸引，現實與幻想的事物，背後藏著作者、主角、或是要告訴讀者另外的一些情感，很容易讓我在不知不覺間進入故事中的世界；即使是短短的半小時，在回到現實中，心中已浮現了久被遺忘的人和事。

故事末後似乎有一個隱藏的結局⋯我想，留待你去發掘。
 

今年秋天⋯

十月秋色 ~ 小巴黎  P.6-7  (click to enlarge)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

從來都覺得中文詩很難寫得好，也許是因為我的中文根底差，但又事實上覺得…要用白話文去表達詩人情懷的時候，很多時會變得＂造作＂。因此，我總覺得文言文的詩詞較為優美，也較能達到詩中有畫意；可惜，我的文言文更不堪，不得不佩服古人的學養。

最近，因着朋友的特別需要，把 Oiseau Distrait 的 Petit Paris 系列中，即將在十月出版的 Palette October  翻譯成中文，似散文多一點點的內容，還只能勉強把原文交代；我想，日後還是要花多些時間學習學習罷！

香港已經進入初秋，天氣還是十分酷熱，隨了早晚稍有微風的痕跡，其餘時間彷佛仍身處夏季。但是今年的秋天，應該會過得不太一樣，也許是我們和一些親朋在香港過的最後一個秋天。是今年或是明年…要離開的始終留不住，也許世界之大，總有可安身之處，亦用不著太過離愁別緒；只是，秋天嘛！還是容易令人傷感，但願，或去或留的人，繼續努力走下去！主祐地球人！

節錄自 小巴黎 ~ 十月秋色(非賣品中文初稿) 忘記鳥作品

我快要墮下⋯ 

願我能⋯即使已是放手的時刻 

很想，很想支撐多一刻  

即使多一秒 

但我將要墮下⋯

沒有動力可撐多一秒鐘

請讓我徐徐墮下

至少可以和他們一起

放下一段歲月⋯

一個卑微的心願

請別為我們哀傷

這並不是終結

當自由的微風再度吹起時

我們便會再次飄洋過海

在疾風中閃閃發亮

告訴世人，關於我們這一代的故事

一個勇敢的故事

From: Palette October ~Petit Paris Series by Oiseau Distrait

 

I am off, falling off...

If it's time to let go

I still want to hold

a second or so...

 

But I'm lost

without force...

to hold any more

 

Let me fall

at least together

with them all

for a season

that's all

 

Don't upset

it's not the end

we will fly when the wind comes by

scatter across the ocean

shining in motion

let everybody knows...this generation

 

The Tapestry Poem

Hi, 

 

I would like to share this with you, a wonderful poem selected by Pauline, our team member of "pastor Au + 7 pebbles" for a special study group  in our church.

"The Tapestry Poem"was originally written by Grant Colfax Tullar (1869-1950)

Then being shared by writer Corrie Ten Boom(1892-1983) in the title of "The Weaver".

 

This poem is so meaningful, being loved & broadly shared many many times; 

and I'm pleased to share it again in my blog, wish you like it, too

My life is but a weaving       我的生命

Between my God and me      是主與我編織的掛毯

I cannot choose the colors    我不能選擇顔色

He wealth steadily              主在編織引領

 

 

Oft' times He weaveth the sorrow;    主常常編織悲傷;

And I in foolish pride                    我愚昧驕傲

Forget He sees the upper                 忘了主看到正面

And I the underside                      而我只看到底面

 

 

Not til the loom is silent         直到織機無聲

And the shuttles cease to fly   機梭停止穿梭

Will God unroll the canvas    主會打開掛毯

And reveal the reason why     展現讓我明白看見

 
 

 

The dark threads are as needful      按照主的設計

 In the  weaver's skilful hand         深黑色的線

 As the threads of gold and silver    在熟練織工的手中

 In the pattern He has planned       和金銀線同讓需要

 

He knows, He loves, He cares;    主知道, 主愛, 主在乎;

Nothing this truth can dim.      這個真理從沒變.

He gives the very best to those   誰願順服祂主權

Who leave the choice to Him     主為誰留美好賞賜

P.S. - thanks Pauline for the beautiful translation so we can share with more others :D

 

智者、旅人 The Wise man said...

A tourist who was visiting a small village approached the house of a well-known wise man, and he was surprised to see that he lived in a small, humble room filled with books. The only pieces of furniture were a bed, a table, and a chair.

 “Where is the rest of your furniture?” the tourist asked.

 “And where is yours?” the wise man answered back. 

“Mine?” responded the tourist, surprised. “I’m only here for a short time.”

“Me too,” said the wise man.

事源教會的一個課堂上，大家思考着智慧書，那麼，什麼是智慧呢？一位姊妹便發現這篇文章與我們分享(抱歉忘記了是摘自那裏，如果你知道，煩請告訴我以便加入此文的備註中，先謝過！🙂)，我覺得很有意思，於是繪了這張圖畫，也在此與你們分享。

從信仰的角度，智慧源於我們信靠的神~敬畏耶和華是智慧的開端，認識至聖者便是聰明！(箴言九章10節)人的智慧實在沒法與創造我們的神相比，這是合理不過的; 能夠認識並信靠神，自然能尋到智慧的根源，這也是我們的福氣。那麼，在還沒有認識神之前，是否也可以活得智慧一些而不是愚妄地渡日呢? 

上文述説一個旅人在探訪小村莊的時候，行至一位有名的智者家中，驚覺他居住在一間充滿書的樸實小房子，除此之外，便只有床，書枱和椅子。

旅人問：你其餘的傢俬在那裡呢？

智者回答説的：你的又在那裡呢？ 

旅人疑惑地説：我的？...我只會在此處短暫停留．

智者說：我也是。

或許不用我多解説，你也明白箇中意思。就是這麼簡單地解釋了我們為什麼不需要無止境地追求物慾，除了是物質與心靈所需的分别之外，也就是把有限的時間用在什麼地方上。得到的一齊能成為我們活得更自在和有深度，還是變成享受過後的一些負擔呢？

Listening

 

click to enlarge

I will say this is Part Two of "Hide and Seek", when I was thinking of what to draw in the center page for Book Six - Hear Me, lots & lots of images flash into my mind, they may be real or, are only some wishes that I would like to see someday. Both hide & seek/ hear me & listening would not exist without someone to act, problems remain if nobody care. 

I've always said that "melancholy" happen not only in Paris, but everywhere in the world, we can just ignore them if we think they are the norm, or begin to act bit by bit starting from peoples around us and therefore, this is not merely "wishes" !

Covid-19 pandemic may further increase the distance between us, but a lesson that we've all learnt - to treasure those around you in your life, the bonding of human beings always last wherever we are. 

So, at the end, I make use of the gramophone to deliver the message knowing that there is always someone who is willing to listen as well as to assist. May God bless our planet!

Tower Eiffel...do you hear me?

 

Wow! Tower Eiffel! What it means to you?! I’m standing right now is near the Jardin du Trocadéro, Av des Nations in front of the Pont d’léna, one of the best viewing angle to Tower Eiffel. Why am I here instead of up up on the tower?...It’s not in my itinerary, besides, if you still remember, I’ve finished my apple there, at the foot of the tower, good enough this time :P

Back to the question and what is your answer? An icon of France? A romantic spot for lovers? A must go in a life time tourist spot?....you name it. One of my friend told me that when she traveled to Paris with her husband years ago, in her memory after returned to Hong Kong, Eiffel, Eiffel, Eiffel...almost every corner in Paris could see...a bit “tired” of it’s existing, everywhere, every minute.

She was right, you’ll never miss Eiffel, day or night, there is always a trace to discover it in my photos. But it’s also amazing when you see how it “interact” to the surrounding, a lot more rather than simply an icon.

When I took this picture, just because of a very straight forward desire to capture the chaotic elements all appear in the same frame. I didn't recognize there was a man somewhere “resting? or...”at the bottom of the bridge, another element in the photo, that’s all.

But when I’ve returned Hong Kong, to zoom in each photos as my usual practice to explore more, the contrast of  “flourishing” above vs the “hollowness “ below in this photo, I was engaged. It reminds me the other day early in the morning, a “yellow spot” drawn my attention...

 

He was working silently, full of concentration without any facial expression, as usual without being aware by any passengers who were hurrying to work. I stared at this scenario for a while, splash of rain falling onto my face...the exact feeling on the bridge...

When I arrived Paris on the first day, I asked my hotel driver wasn't she happy to live here, so she could visit the Louvre, Tower Eiffel, Jardins...,etc at any time she want? She told me, it’s because you are a tourist, I am not, I’ve never visited the Louvre, too much to do for a living, for my family...the exact feeling at the fountain...

Tower Eiffel, what it really means to us?!

Four Seasons

 

Autumn ...

 

forest become silence

color begins to faint

air is dry

life is grey

open your eyes

something above

stretch your arms

a Gift to Receive

Summer...

 

here & there in forest

everything in motion

wind that blows to deliver

signs of love encounter

open the gift for you

the always special you

any message to tell?

any breakthrough to act!

 

Spring...

 

aroma of the forest

life of the triumph

ready for the blossom

can't stop the movement

fly to Explore

chase the light

you'll never know

if you don't go

 

Winter...

 

it seems the end

forest back to death...again

it's a cycle of no control

we should only follow

 the seasons of nature

a Creator who rule

Embrace your life in Him

& you'll be free

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Komitas

There are numerous messages delivered from graffiti, poster or sticker found on the street here, in Paris. I am sure there will be some trace of the “yellow vest” - mouvement des gilets jaunes; a chaos agitated by the increase of fuel tax. My new friend Li, who studied & working here for over 18 years, she told me that actually the amount increased was minimal, but demonstration/ protest/ strike whatever we call are frequently happen in France, i.e.: they get used to & nothing to be afraid of.

Liberté (Freedom), Égalité (Equality), Fraternité (fraternity / brotherhood), ou la mort (or death*) - is the “national motto” of France. There may be still argument of whether the Declaration of the Rights of Man & of the Citizen on 26 August 1789 should include all of them in exact wordings, especially the last one;  but no matter how, it’s originated in the French Revolution. The Tricolor flag of France are embodying all the principle of the Revolution- Liberté (Blue), Égalité (white) and Fraternité (Red).

 Walking along, there is Mémorial de la Shoah - a memorial retraces the history of French Jews after the liberation of Auschwitz concentration camp, a sad history of 76,000 Jews deported from France. I didn’t visit even I’ve passing by twice, I am afraid there will be too “much” for my first trip, but it will be in my itinerary in the next visit.

So, who is Komitas? A statue that I’ve seen in Jardin d’Erevan. I don’t know who he was? But the form of statue clearly tells me it is not a display of an art piece, something serious,... to remember.

 

“ en Hommage a

Komitas

Comositeur, musicologue

et aus

1500000 victimes

du génocide arménien de 1915

perpetre dans L‘empire ottoman“

 

If we are thinking of the War Crime, Holocaust- Jewish was the first comes into our mind; but there is another one, Genocide- Armenian. 

Komitas was the survivor in this genocide, he was an Armenian priest, composer, a super talented musicologist, founder of the Armenian national school of music. If he didn’t collected & transcribed over 3000 pieces of Armenian folk music during his work in life time, the cultural heritage of Armenia will be vanished together with the genocide, no one will even remember the existing of this history. 

To Komitas, although he could survive after released from concentrate camp, the shadow of death together with his fear of losing his lifetime work in Armenian music that finally drove him nuts, he was transferred to stay in Paris where his friend was there... but weakness & insane were the only melody left in his last years, who died in 1935.

I have to admit that I am quite lost & depress while preparing this post, when I’ve watched the film online “Music to Madness (The Story of Komitas)” , in order to find who he was? The unfold of history was intolerable, up to this moment, I can’t find an “excuse” for “human” to expel/ destroy a nation and I am not intend to find one.

 

-  Survivors of the Armenians “re-birth” and wide spread around the world.
- Armenia was the First Nations to adopt Christianity as a state religion, it’s roots go backs to 1st century AD. (Wiki data)